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When I think back to what I thought my life would be like when I first entered my 20s, oh my gosh was I wrong. I thought I would’ve had my shit way more together by now. I had everything mapped out and thought it would all go according to plan. Yeah right. But I’m sitting here on my bed (our actual bed from Ottawa! It’s a long story but the short version is that we now have our beloved queen sized bed with us here in TN), writing today’s post, and I am so happy. My bed is my place. It’s where I do my best work, where I have ideas zoom into my brain faster than I can write them down. It’s the place from which my next project is taking off.

I've thought about it for months, mentioned it a few times here and there in conversation just to see what it would sound like, I even use it in my descriptions on social media.

I'm a writer.

Well now I'll be saying something along the lines of, “I'm a professional freelance writer and editor” and to be honest that scares me a little bit. My line of thinking goes something like this -- “I'm ready to do this! I've done my background homework, let's go. Okay, I'm a freelancer now, which technically means that I'm self-employed, which means that I own my own business! OMG I'm a small business owner. Okay this is getting really serious now, I don't know if I can do this.”

I’m scared of rejection -- what if nobody likes my style? What if nobody thinks my services are worth paying for? What if it turns out that I’m terrible at working for myself?

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So instead I'm trying to keep everything in very small, very manageable chunks that distract me from those ever-persistent what ifs. I have some pitches lined up and a new website design is in the works. I’m giving myself the month of May to sort things out behind-the-scenes. It’s new and scary, as you can imagine, but I’m inspired and kind of giddily excited about it too. 

The life I’m living now, filled with travel and transitions, is entirely different than what I had imagined, but I’m entirely in love with it.